The Monkeys Will Eat You

So, I promised to share stories that would make you feel like you're not alone in your parenting journeys and mishaps.   As it says in the "About Me" section, I am the proud parent of two young children...let's call them Haylee and Daniel.  Currently Haylee is 5 and Daniel just turned 1, they keep my life very interesting.  This is just one of many adventures that we've had together, I like to call it "The Monkeys Will Eat You".  

It was a beautiful day at the zoo.  Even better, it was Mother’s Day!  What a perfect day to spend time with my entire family at the zoo.  My husband Jeff, and our children Haylee and Daniel had made the drive out to the Brookfield Zoo to meet my mother, sister, brother-in-law, and nephew.  

We spent the day hiking around the zoo, visiting different exhibits, and after about every other one we finished, I was asked “can we go to the playground now?” by my beautiful daughter.  Why, oh why, do they have to put playgrounds in the middle of the zoo?  My reply was always “we are here to see the animals, not the slide...you have one of those at home!”  On we went to the next exhibit.

After fighting our way through exhibits of lions, and tigers, and bears (oh my) we arrived at the bison.  We trekked through the exhibit amongst complaints of, “I can’t walk any more, I’m hungry, my feet are tired,” and my personal favorite, “can we go to the playground now.”  At the end of the exhibit we were funneled through the crowded gift store that then brought “can I have this, I have always wanted one of these.”  After elbowing my way through and stealthily evading requests for various zoo toys we made our way out.

Just outside the exit were the baboons.  What a site to behold.  Such majestic creatures, their colorful rear ends ablaze in the sunlight.  As Haylee marveled at their antics she tried to get a closer look by standing on the fence.  As a responsible parent, I promptly removed her from the fence and firmly told her not to do it again.  After several more cycles of removing her from the fence and lecturing her I became even more stern.

At this point my sister decided to join us in looking at the baboons.  As I was chatting with my sister I looked over to see Haylee climbing the fence once again.  I stood silently for a few moments and took three deep breaths before approaching Haylee.  

As I came up to her and took her from the fence I could tell that she knew she was in trouble.  I gently put my arm around her and had her look at the baboons with me.  After a few minutes I pointed to the animals and said “see those monkeys over there?  They may look nice, but they’re not.  They’ll eat you!  If you fall over this fence they’ll get ya!”  

My sister stared at me in disbelief as she asked “Did you just tell her the monkeys would eat her?”  I responded “Yeah, I know, they probably wouldn’t eat her, they'd probably just maim her...”  She responded with a still shocked “I can’t believe you said that to her!”

Ok, so maybe not the best way to stop my four year old from climbing the fences at the zoo, but it was effective.  She didn’t climb any more fences that day, and she hasn’t asked me if we could have a monkey since.  For those of you who are feeling bad for Haylee, don’t.  After observing a few more animals in their “natural” habitats, grandma talked me into letting her play at the playground, and that was followed by the traditional Dip n Dots.

I hope this at least made you crack a little smile.

Have a great weekend!